1. Maynard Ferguson is thy god. Thou shalt not have any other god besides him.
2. Whatever goes upon three valves and/or slide is a friend so long as it bears the name trumpet
3. Honor thy superior trumpet demi-gods (unless of course, however unlikely, you become a trumpet-god yourself)
4. Thou shalt not attempt to out-do another trumpet, unless in competition (to trumpets, everything is a competition).
5. No trumpet player shall obey, listen to, and/or heed the outcries of other instruments because tis thy job to oppress them at all times
6. Thou shalt tell the 1st trumpets they suck until thou recievest the coveted chair of 1st
7. Woodwinds are a waste of wood, abuse them. In addition thou shalt take all other brass as thy footstool
8. Thy official animal shalt be the trumpetfish—thou shalt not deface it in anyway, shape or form, without first signing a waiver
9. When thou fellow trumpet receivests a new trumpet, thou shalt not covet it unless you have a way to obtain it*
10. Thou shalt not question the counting skills of other trumpets be it when to enter or other such countings
11. Trombones suck
12. Thou shalt not play with thine own mouthpiece
13. Thou shalt heavily abuse the mouthpieces of other sections
14. Thou shalt throw your mouthpiece at the director
15. Thou shalt laugh at the incompetence of the inferior humans that play other instruments
*Where historians disagree. Some people think that the 8th commandment was sneakily added in by a flute. Others believe that it was none other than Arturo Sandoval. Still, the most popular opinion is that Miles Davis, jealous from not being chosen as thy god, flew down from the heavens and imprinted it with his mouthpiece while Ferguson was not looking.
I saw someone requested more french horn things, and I mean, I noticed theres already alot of french horn related posts.
I was wondering if you could post more tuba/sousaphone/contra related things :D
Thou shalt accept the Bass Clef as the Lord Thy God and the Treble Clef as your Immortal Savior.
Thou shalt hit the low notes a Tuba can to hit and the high notes a Horn can hit.
Thou shalt hold the damned thing up if marching.
Thou shalt grow a pair and stop fingering concert A at me when I’m not looking.
Thou shalt BLOW LIKE A REAL MAN! (wait a minute…)
Thou shalt get along with thine section, even if ye read different clefs; when Adolphe Sax rises again, the high brass will be too busy getting buttraped, and the trombones will be too busy having massive orgies to notice, so y’all’d best work together, y’hear?
Thou shalt accept that there is only ever one treble clef part.
Thou shalt not let the trombones “play with thine valves” unless you want to have sex with them.
Thou shalt cover up all tenor and bari sax sound, for they are posers.
Thou shalt revere and honor all lady-euphs. If there are no lady-euphs, thou shalt have a sausage fest.
I watched Ticheli in concert at a band invitational and got some amazing feedback from him! He's so nice and throughout the whole tape, he couldn't stop saying how beautiful music was, and how beautifully we played it even though we didn't sound our best.