Several of the great bassoonists of our time have formulated a set of structured rules to guide all bassoonists to a better life. These commandments must supercede all other life rules in a bassoonist’s life in order to fully respect and love their instrument.
Thou shalt play well, or thou shall be hit with thy own Bassoon.
Thou shalt play IN TUNE and with the correct embrochure
Thou must worketh on scales at least thrice a fortnight.
Thou must constantly increase their range from a low Bb to a HIGH D
Thou must be able to play the opening of The Rite of Spring
Thou shalt own a copy of Mozart’s Bassoon Concerto
The low Bb shalt be thy favourite note on the instrument
One must immerse thyself in the art of Bassoonery.
One must be friends with a French Horn player, for Bassoons and French Horns have been friends since the beginning of time.
Thou must tryeth to get along with trombonists and cellists. They have been known to come to your aid in your time of greatest need.
One must appear to appreciate the sound of an oboe - they are inferior but still a double-reeder.
If an individual calleth your Bassoon an oboe, you are legally entitled to curse at the person and hit them with the bell of your Bassoon.
Long supported notes show strength and competence.
Short staccato notes show precision.
Thou shalt imitate fog horns on the North Sea on the lower register
Thou shalt never complain of a weary thumb. A bassoonists thumb is his greatest asset.
Thou shalt make reeds constantly, and complain about the tribulations of making reeds.
2nd bassoonist shall not be made a mockery of by the Principal.
Contra-bassoons, and their players, may be inferior and associate themselves with tubas and bass-clarinets, but they are still cool.
Thou shalt include the Beegees or other appropriate bands into classical works at all times. (As revealed to the world by Bill Bailey)
"For all the band kids. Whether you're woodwind, brass, percussion or even color guard. This tumblr is contains awesome submissions by the glorious band geeks out there and my band experience from start to finish from the very beginning. " What about majorettes?! Everyone forgets about us because we're not as popular as colorguard :c
True facts… even my own mother was a majorette in marching band.